Depression sets in
So the past two days have been hell on earth for me. The love of my life..... has been avoiding me like i smell like stinky cheese :(. Seriously, the last time i talked to him was tuesday afternoon. He was headed to an apt to see a therapist as he's been having some issues with a lot of things in his life including i know his dad passing away and he thought it was the best thing for him to do , to go back to see one.
I can understand this. Talking about things helps. Thats what im doing on this blog.
But....
I have NOT heard from him since. Not one word. He told me he loved me, that he would call me when he finished and poof. Its like he disappeared from the face of the earth. Ive tried calling his cell and his house phone several times. Not back to back mind you but hours a part. Thinking maybe he was busy or sleeping... nothing. I get his voicemail and answering machine each time.
So now im depressed. Very very sad. I cant stop crying. I dont know what is going on. First i couldnt eat a thing. Then finally at 9 pm i gave in and ate a ton i shouldnt have. But i didnt eat all day. The only thing ih ad was at 2 am and that was some chips and various other things. So for dinner i ate:
Cup of tuna fish - had it on 2 pieces bread with pickles and 1 tablepsoon light mayo
1 1/2 cups of tuna helper
Crackers and 1/3 cup ( basically the rest) of this dip
Yes im a pig. I hate it.
So calorie break down:
160 - 2 slices bread
Tuna (sandwhich) 160 calories around 4 -6 oz
Mayo- 50 calories
Pickles- 5 calories
Tuna- 160 calories
Helper -200 calories x2 - 400 calories
Crackers- 125 calories
Dip- 100 calories
960 calories for my dinner. Sigh.
Grand total for today - right at 1500 ( this includes the sun chips and stuff i ate at 2 am)
No clue how many calories ive actually burned off today with my crying and running around and cleaning. I honestly dont care. Its one of those days you just wanna say to hell with it.
But i wont. I cant. Im on week 2. but im so depressed and all i want to do is hear from him. thats all. just to HEAR from him. just for him to say hey im ok everything is ok we are ok im just dealing with things my way or im busy with work and stressed out. Sigh. Thats all i want. So if you pray, pray that i hear from him soon before i eat the contents of my fridge and possibly the nearest walmart and mcdonalds.....
I can understand this. Talking about things helps. Thats what im doing on this blog.
But....
I have NOT heard from him since. Not one word. He told me he loved me, that he would call me when he finished and poof. Its like he disappeared from the face of the earth. Ive tried calling his cell and his house phone several times. Not back to back mind you but hours a part. Thinking maybe he was busy or sleeping... nothing. I get his voicemail and answering machine each time.
So now im depressed. Very very sad. I cant stop crying. I dont know what is going on. First i couldnt eat a thing. Then finally at 9 pm i gave in and ate a ton i shouldnt have. But i didnt eat all day. The only thing ih ad was at 2 am and that was some chips and various other things. So for dinner i ate:
Cup of tuna fish - had it on 2 pieces bread with pickles and 1 tablepsoon light mayo
1 1/2 cups of tuna helper
Crackers and 1/3 cup ( basically the rest) of this dip
Yes im a pig. I hate it.
So calorie break down:
160 - 2 slices bread
Tuna (sandwhich) 160 calories around 4 -6 oz
Mayo- 50 calories
Pickles- 5 calories
Tuna- 160 calories
Helper -200 calories x2 - 400 calories
Crackers- 125 calories
Dip- 100 calories
960 calories for my dinner. Sigh.
Grand total for today - right at 1500 ( this includes the sun chips and stuff i ate at 2 am)
No clue how many calories ive actually burned off today with my crying and running around and cleaning. I honestly dont care. Its one of those days you just wanna say to hell with it.
But i wont. I cant. Im on week 2. but im so depressed and all i want to do is hear from him. thats all. just to HEAR from him. just for him to say hey im ok everything is ok we are ok im just dealing with things my way or im busy with work and stressed out. Sigh. Thats all i want. So if you pray, pray that i hear from him soon before i eat the contents of my fridge and possibly the nearest walmart and mcdonalds.....
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