Keeping my mind busy
So i overslept today b/c i didnt sleep well at all last night. All i could dream about was him. So i woke up at 7 and said to hell with going to yard sales today. So i have to catch them tomorrow. Which im going to. I need to get out of the house out into the summer air.
So today im trying to come up with ways to A. keep my mind busy and B. get some exercise in. So i thnk its going to be cleaning day. Im trying to get ready for a huge yardsale at the end of the month anyways and i still have a garage full of stuff to go through. Not to mention i should really go over to my mom's and go through some of my stuff there. I still have boxes and boxes of various items i havnt picked up and moved. And i moved out 5 years ago almost lol.
I havnt had anything to eat today. Ive had a glass of cranberry juice. After yesterday's fiasco with overeating last night im going to try to compensate for it today with eating lower fat and calorie items.
And i just finished watching the Documentery : McLibel. Very interesting if i do say so myself. Considering McDonalds is one of my all time fave fast food places. Im now watching SuperSize Me. I dont think im going to have much problem staying away from there for awhile now. Id rather know what im putting into my mouth then guess. I love hamuburgers and i love food but i think fast food i can stay away from. The only food i eat that i consider fast food now is subway. And thats very rare that ill stop to get it.
This is going to be a very long journey i can already see. And now that i feel im doing it alone and without the encouragement of the person that tells me they love me and will support me and be there for more, its going to be 10 times as hard. When i had him in my corner telling me how proud he was of me and that i could do it i honest to god felt like i could. I now feel like im defeated already and the race hasnt even begun.
Ive started to go through my closet of clothes. So many things ive bought over the years that are too small for me to wear- just sitting there. I keep saying ill just get rid of them and then buy a whole new wardrobe but then i keep saying no, ill get to that size ill get to that size. Im a garage sale junkie and i see all these cute CHEAP clothes that id love to have but i jsut cant justify spending the money ( even a quarter) on something that might take me years to fit into. Or when im very down, i might never get into.
Im just heartsick. Im heartbroken. And no one seems to understand. Everyone keeps telling me that he's probably just busy or maybe he's going through things... ok fine i understand... but im his SO (significant other) doesnt that count for anything? All i want is just a hey im ok im busy just let me have my space and id leave him alone for weeks if thats what he wanted. Just something. But this nothing hurts worse.
So today im trying to come up with ways to A. keep my mind busy and B. get some exercise in. So i thnk its going to be cleaning day. Im trying to get ready for a huge yardsale at the end of the month anyways and i still have a garage full of stuff to go through. Not to mention i should really go over to my mom's and go through some of my stuff there. I still have boxes and boxes of various items i havnt picked up and moved. And i moved out 5 years ago almost lol.
I havnt had anything to eat today. Ive had a glass of cranberry juice. After yesterday's fiasco with overeating last night im going to try to compensate for it today with eating lower fat and calorie items.
And i just finished watching the Documentery : McLibel. Very interesting if i do say so myself. Considering McDonalds is one of my all time fave fast food places. Im now watching SuperSize Me. I dont think im going to have much problem staying away from there for awhile now. Id rather know what im putting into my mouth then guess. I love hamuburgers and i love food but i think fast food i can stay away from. The only food i eat that i consider fast food now is subway. And thats very rare that ill stop to get it.
This is going to be a very long journey i can already see. And now that i feel im doing it alone and without the encouragement of the person that tells me they love me and will support me and be there for more, its going to be 10 times as hard. When i had him in my corner telling me how proud he was of me and that i could do it i honest to god felt like i could. I now feel like im defeated already and the race hasnt even begun.
Ive started to go through my closet of clothes. So many things ive bought over the years that are too small for me to wear- just sitting there. I keep saying ill just get rid of them and then buy a whole new wardrobe but then i keep saying no, ill get to that size ill get to that size. Im a garage sale junkie and i see all these cute CHEAP clothes that id love to have but i jsut cant justify spending the money ( even a quarter) on something that might take me years to fit into. Or when im very down, i might never get into.
Im just heartsick. Im heartbroken. And no one seems to understand. Everyone keeps telling me that he's probably just busy or maybe he's going through things... ok fine i understand... but im his SO (significant other) doesnt that count for anything? All i want is just a hey im ok im busy just let me have my space and id leave him alone for weeks if thats what he wanted. Just something. But this nothing hurts worse.
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