So i started back at the gym....
Ok so today or rather yesterday now the 15th i started going back to the gym. I figured ok ive been on this damn diet for 2 weeks now i need to get my butt in gear.
My feet are KILLING ME. This is what i hate- blisters. I can walk and walk and walk but put a blister on my foot somewhere and ill try till i cant walk. And then it sucks b/c i dont wanna go the next day. So i did 3 1/2 miles today on the track. And then i just had to stop b/c the blister on the back of my foot was about to drive me nuts. If it wasnt for that id have gone on to do the 5 or 6 i wanted to do.
So then i get home and decide im going to go grocery shopping. I hate it. All i wanted to do was eat everything in the store. I did buy ice cream. Lower fat lower calories and when i got home had a small bowlfull of it. Sinfully delicious. Then my love's best friend tells me from him " Ill talk to her in the morning i need to get my thoughts together' which cant be good. At least every other time ive had something happen its never good. So now i cant sleep. And the ice cream i just ate is attempting to come back up b/c my stomach hurts b/c of all this.
Gathering your thoughts.... im guessing that means " im trying to figure out the best way to tell her that i lied to her i dont love her i dont want her in my life and do so in a way she'll leave me alone and i wont have to deal with her anymore." Oh yeah and so he doesnt look like a complete jerk in the process. :/
I understand probably more than most what it feels like to be depressed and go through that esp when you loose people in your life. I lost 3 people important to me in a matter of months. So im kinda waiting for the " i love you i care about you but right now my life is just too much to handle a relationship... and i have my son and just work and im stressed out.... and i think we should just end things for now" yeah except the for now part should be " forever"
Maybe im jumping to conclusions, but i honestly dont think so. I mean dont get me wrong i hope i am. I hope him and i have a nice talk about things and we work it out to where we can be together and maybe in the future when things are stressful ill FREAKING KNOW so i wont loose my FREAKING MIND.
Its 4 am. I cant sleep. I dont want to eat ( which is what my mind keeps telling me to do) and i have nothing to really clean at the moment that doesnt require like major time committments b/c of the mess its going to involve. So i have no clue what im going to do for the next 7 hours. B/c he has to be up and working on stuff at 9 and i know usually he's up by 7 but i highly doubt ill hear from him that early. Would be nice but i doubt it considering he's just nwo going to be at 2 his time.
Hell, id take a walk but my feet hurt from the grocery store.
My feet are KILLING ME. This is what i hate- blisters. I can walk and walk and walk but put a blister on my foot somewhere and ill try till i cant walk. And then it sucks b/c i dont wanna go the next day. So i did 3 1/2 miles today on the track. And then i just had to stop b/c the blister on the back of my foot was about to drive me nuts. If it wasnt for that id have gone on to do the 5 or 6 i wanted to do.
So then i get home and decide im going to go grocery shopping. I hate it. All i wanted to do was eat everything in the store. I did buy ice cream. Lower fat lower calories and when i got home had a small bowlfull of it. Sinfully delicious. Then my love's best friend tells me from him " Ill talk to her in the morning i need to get my thoughts together' which cant be good. At least every other time ive had something happen its never good. So now i cant sleep. And the ice cream i just ate is attempting to come back up b/c my stomach hurts b/c of all this.
Gathering your thoughts.... im guessing that means " im trying to figure out the best way to tell her that i lied to her i dont love her i dont want her in my life and do so in a way she'll leave me alone and i wont have to deal with her anymore." Oh yeah and so he doesnt look like a complete jerk in the process. :/
I understand probably more than most what it feels like to be depressed and go through that esp when you loose people in your life. I lost 3 people important to me in a matter of months. So im kinda waiting for the " i love you i care about you but right now my life is just too much to handle a relationship... and i have my son and just work and im stressed out.... and i think we should just end things for now" yeah except the for now part should be " forever"
Maybe im jumping to conclusions, but i honestly dont think so. I mean dont get me wrong i hope i am. I hope him and i have a nice talk about things and we work it out to where we can be together and maybe in the future when things are stressful ill FREAKING KNOW so i wont loose my FREAKING MIND.
Its 4 am. I cant sleep. I dont want to eat ( which is what my mind keeps telling me to do) and i have nothing to really clean at the moment that doesnt require like major time committments b/c of the mess its going to involve. So i have no clue what im going to do for the next 7 hours. B/c he has to be up and working on stuff at 9 and i know usually he's up by 7 but i highly doubt ill hear from him that early. Would be nice but i doubt it considering he's just nwo going to be at 2 his time.
Hell, id take a walk but my feet hurt from the grocery store.
Leave a Comment
alski on
|
From:Alski Date:7/16/20008 at 8:18am Hey Pink, You kno what I think ? I think your being to hard on yourself, your beating a dead horse. let it go, if it was meant to be it will be! Time heals all pain sweetheart, you have to move on with your life. besides if he's not man enough to face you and be stright up front with you, he's not a man!!! he's a coward in my book, move on get yourself a real man. like one of those men at the base where you work out!!! JUST DO IT DAMMITT ! if you need someone to vent on your welcome to message me, feel free to cuss me out, yell at me, send me the bird whatever, hey what are friends for:) Take care ok ! |
